Na Na pinches her pennies (aka frugal living)

Shh… don't tell anyone I'm poor. They all think I'm living frugal and green just like everyone these days. This is a blog about a senior citizen living a frugal life, on a fixed income, in a low income food desert, and passing along knowledge from lessons learned. Some she learned from her Grandma Mama many years ago and some learned only a few days ago.

Re-thinking the situation

When I was young I heard a story about Buddha that has been a hugh influence in my life over the years.   It has helped me survive while living in the ghetto most of my life.  The story goes like this:

There once was a man who constantly harassed and insulted the Buddha. The man was continually throwing all sorts of verbal abuse at Buddha but Buddha never seemed fazed by it.  When someone finally asked Buddha why he didn’t take offense at the insults he simply replied;  if someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it to whom does that gift belong?

Now I’m not saying anyone should sit back and let people insult them or bully them repeatedly without any response.  A person needs to stand up for theirself every now and then (sorry Buddha) or folks will start taking advantage of your unoffendability.  Is that a word?

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So I’ve decided I won’t continue to take offense at the neighbor’s tactics.  Offense exists not in the insult but in our reaction to it.  My own reactions are completely within my own control as are each and everyone else’s.  Its unreasonable to expect a bully to be anything but a bully.  If I let her behavior get under my skin I have no one else to blame but myself.

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When something upsets me I need to talk it out or it sets in my mind festering.  Usually there is no one around but me so I turn to my blog.  Later when I’ve calmed down, and common sense returns to me, my outlook is different.  A few years ago my friend and I were talking about how I rarely let life bring me down for more than a moment or two.  She commented how whenever a boulder fell into my path I simply took a path around it.  I looked at her and told her those were not boulders, they were direction signs.  The bully neighbor is just another direction sign in my path.

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So, when I was thinking about bringing the situation up in a council meeting it meant I was accepting a role to play in the neighbor’s game of control.  Then I started thinking about how I’m going to be living here for a very long time.  I don’t want to spend all the coming years playing that kind of game.  I’d rather follow the advice of Buddha and not accept her gift.  And now I’m going to get on with the business of fluffing my new nest.  I think its time I baked a loaf of bread and done some canning again.  Also I should go back to this blog being about frugal living instead of airing frustration.

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Umm…. later.  I babysit Spanky and Ladybug a few days ago and they were sick.  Naturally I caught it and now I’m sick.  I’m gonna rest a couple of days.

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16 comments on “Re-thinking the situation

  1. Nicole from Canada
    September 6, 2016

    I just wanted to say “hi”. I found your blog today and I am really enjoying it. I’m new to frugal living now that I’m a mom and have realized that being in debt is dumb and there are better things to spend your money on than fast food. I’ve been slowly trying to teach myself and I know I’ll be finding lots of new tips on your site. I’ve already spent half a day reading – my house might still be messy but I’m very inspired!

    • Anita
      September 8, 2016

      Thanks Nicole, inspiring others is exactly why I write my blog.

  2. Chris
    September 5, 2016

    just found you via nonconsumeradvocate.com
    – amazing! Bookmarking you as a reminder to self to stay the course…..

    • Anita
      September 8, 2016

      Thanks Chris, I’m glad you found me. I hope I can inspire you through my blog too.

  3. Margie in Toronto
    September 5, 2016

    Rest up – you’ve had a busy couple of months so you certainly deserve a bit of a break!

    • Anita
      September 8, 2016

      Thanks, the move probably took a toll on me I hadn’t thought it would. The fair too. As I usually get sick right after the fair from all the walking.

  4. Ginny
    September 4, 2016

    I really like this post a lot – you are right to simply refocus on living your own life well and refuse to accept her invitation into conflict and craziness! I have peaceful neighbors, but live with a sometimes very unpeaceful teenage boy – he would like nothing better at times than to argue and get me going. I do a much better job as a mom and live with more peace when I just refuse to play his game.
    But I do need to draw a line in the sand and refuse to allow him to disrespect me – just as you need to take whatever steps you need to be sure you are safe from any reprisal from your neighbor.
    You can have inner peace, even when others around you are trying to pull you into crazy…but it takes a very intentional decision – and you have to make a decision for peace very, very often when someone else is harassing you. I hope it all turns out well for you. I love your blog and your common sense. Thank you for sharing your life with us here!

    • Anita
      September 8, 2016

      Ginny you are right, I have to keep making the same decision over and over until she gets tired of trying to get under my skin. Bullies soon tire of accomplishing something that can’t be accomplished and move on.

  5. Donna
    September 3, 2016

    You have done a good “think” and come to a good conclusion. You are in your own house, don’t let anyone ruin your good move or make you unhappy! At first, when I saw that loaf of bread I thought you might be going to kill her with kindness and take her some bread. Maybe she has had a bad experience before with bad neighbors. Worth a try. If it doesn’t work at least you tried. Just sayin……..Have a good week.

    • Anita
      September 8, 2016

      You are right, it doesn’t hurt to be a nice person. Next time I bake bread I’ll bake two loaves instead of one. Worst that could happen is she feeds it to the birds… right?

  6. Brian
    September 3, 2016

    Anita, Great post! Maybe it’s time to bake two loaves of bread, one for you and one for your neighbor. I guess we really never know what the other person is dealing with in their own life. Maybe a kind gesture will turn things around. Good luck kid!

    • Anita
      September 8, 2016

      Hey Brian, why does my blog address show up in your comment profile?

  7. boblosan
    September 3, 2016

    I certainly hope you get well quickly. As for your “new” attitude, it is the one I choose to live with too. I try anyway. God bless you.

  8. Jeanie in MO
    September 3, 2016

    You are a wise lady!!! Don’t let her get to you.

  9. Leslie Saunders
    September 3, 2016

    You are a wise lady, Anita. You are not giving her any power, and that will take the wind right out of her sails.

  10. kathi
    September 3, 2016

    yup. YOU GOT IT NOW. oh BUDDAH………………..

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