Shh… don't tell anyone I'm poor. They all think I'm living frugal and green just like everyone these days. This is a blog about a senior citizen living a frugal life, on a fixed income, in a low income food desert, and passing along knowledge from lessons learned. Some she learned from her Grandma Mama many years ago and some learned only a few days ago.
Over the last month or so I’ve been feeling extremely stressed. I’ve been making mistakes and doing a LOT of apologizing. Some of these feelings are from being in self-isolation for 128 days. However; most of my stress is coming from not feeling in control of my own life. Lately I can’t seem to explain myself very well so please forgive me as I stumble through this post.
Grandma Mama taught me never to become a beggar. In those days poor people wore clothes that were barely held together enough to be called clothes. Grandma Mama would tell me over and over again that there was no shame with wearing a patch but great shame for wearing a hole. Her meaning was that we should rely on our own strength rather than expect others to do for us. There is no shame in being poor but there is great shame in expecting others to fix our holes. I hope you understand the meaning too. It was her way of teaching me to keep my dignity and rely on myself first.
I was reminded of that in a dream a couple nights ago. I want my dignity back. The whole idea of the gofundme is causing me great stress. So does the paypalme account although not quite as much. The money there has a different feel to it.
I will be refunding all the gofundme donations and closing down the campaign just as soon as I figure out how its done. Either later today or early tomorrow I’ll get that done. I do sincerely appreciate all the gifts from everyone but I just can’t handle it anymore. The money is simply not worth the mental stress its causing me. Anyone who has donated money through paypal that wishes me to refund their money please let me know. The money has been transferred to my savings so it will take a couple of days to transfer it back to paypal for your refund.
I will get my teeth someday and keep my dignity too. I have a new idea that doesn’t involve any kind of begging. Just my own work and earning from it. I plan to close down the blog and switch over to youtube concentrating on frugal living diy for seniors.
I’m taking the next two or three weeks to concentrate on my plan and to relieve some of this stress. Call it my staycation. Before I close down this blog completely I’ll come back to give an update. No later than July 31. See you in three weeks!
P.S. The mystery of the strange email has been solved. It was not a scammer at all. My bad. It was just someone as cautious as me about giving money to strangers.