Na Na pinches her pennies

Shh… don't tell anyone I'm poor. They all think I'm living frugal and green just like everyone these days. This is a blog about a senior citizen living a frugal life, on a fixed income, in a low income food desert, and passing along knowledge from lessons learned. Some she learned from her Grandma Mama many years ago and some learned only a few days ago.

Why bother?

My time away from the internet has been…? Maybe I should just describe it. Not only have I suffered a couple of painful falls but I seem to be sleeping my life away. Since January 1 this year Louisville has had 18 days of full sunshine out of 75 days. We did have at least 12 days of partial sunshine when the sun peeked through the grey skies a few times a day. The five story warehouse behind my house blocks most of the sun when there is any.

I’ve felt tired, lazy, and unmotivated because every day was is exactly the same as the day before with no excitement in my life. No grandkid hugs or birthday parties. No visitors to my house and me not going anyplace. No shopping for bargains. No foodbank visits because of the weather. No sewing or quilting. No library visits. I wish I had spent some time learning this new wordpress but I didn’t. I should have worked more on my family tree and making copies of old photos for my grand kids but I didn’t. I should have done more sewing or crating but I didn’t. Actually I had no motivation to do anything or talk with anyone so I merely sat around asking myself “why bother” day after day.

Why bother? Why should I clean house? It’s too dangerous for me to have visitors because of the covid. No one will see the sink full of unwashed dishes. My house is so dark all the time so no one would see the very dusty dirty house. The spiders are loving all the dusty corners. I know this because a few days ago I spotted a couple of the spiders in my shoes. They looked so stupid. My shoes are way too big for them. I tried killing one of them with hair spray. She’s still alive but her hair looks fantastic.

Why bother? Why should I shower? Seriously how dirty can an old person get setting in a chair watching youtube videos all day? Because of covid (if I ventured out in public) everyone would be six feet away and that’s not close enough to smell my stink through their mask. I’m sure not planning to get close enough to smell theirs either. No one will know if I’ve had a shower or not. Except me. Funny that I never knew what fatigue really was until I had to start taking a nap after my shower. Yes, I do shower twice a week and slather on good smelling lotion. By the way, did you hear that scientists have finally figured out a 5 minute shower takes – on average – only 1/3 the amount of water and energy that a fifteen minute shower does?

Why bother? Why should I meal plan? I spend time planning meals and creating a grocery curbside pick up order. When I get home it appears about half the items are either “out of stock” or “in store pickup only.” I thought the purpose of curbside pick up was to avoid going inside. Sheesh! Also, I haven’t been to a foodbank for several weeks. It just happened that on the scheduled January and February foodbank day in my area it was cancelled due to weather conditions. However, thanks to two wonderful blog follower angels I will have $25 a month to pay for groceries this year. Another very nice person sent me $8 through paypal a few days ago. That gave me $33 for groceries this month. I’m so thankful. I believe I did extremely well on the savings and staying within budget. Here’s the totals. I bought $76.99 for $28.37 for a savings of $53.99

Why bother? Why should I cook? No one will know if I cooked a nutritious meal or ate a bowl of sugary cereal for supper. Oh yeah? Well, my body knows. When I don’t eat regularly my body reacts the same as if I haven’t slept for days. I fall into a deep sleep for four or five hours. Diabetes meds are no substitute for a bad diet. As I told the grands last year – they will know they’ve become an adult when they stop growing taller and start growing wider.

I can’t remember exactly when but I had explained to someone how I have enough food in storage to last a year if necessary but it would be boring food. Well, that’s exactly what happened over winter. The food got boring and I stopped caring if I ate at all or what it was. However; I’ve re-discovered (again) the wisdom of Grandma Mama and the ways she taught me so very long ago. I’ll “make do” with what food I have available. I may get to the foodbank this month if the weather cooperates. Hmm… maybe that single day of sunshine of a couple days ago got my creativity waking up?

Why bother? Why should I organize? No one will know if my house or my life is organized. Because of covid no one will be seeing the disorganization of my house. For years I’ve battled against clutter. During the 2019 after Christmas sales I had bought several organizing things. In January 2020 my intention was to finally empty all the moving boxes still unpacked from my move here to this house in 2016. This year for my birthday a very wonderful blog follower helped me pay for a brand new, still in the box, set of shelves for organizing my kitchen. Its the same lovely person that helped me get a refrigerator.

Why bother? Why should I plan anything? I actually love planners, highlighters, colorful pens, to do lists, and anything else that gives me the illusion I’m getting my life under control. Also, post it notes are fantastic. Without them I wouldn’t be able to organize so efficiently all the important tasks I’ll eventually forget anyway. Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I hope everyone knows the very first rule of singing while house cleaning is that the toilet brush is not a microphone.

Why bother? Why should I sew? I seriously need to upcycle the thrift store clothes I bought (well over a year ago) into new outfits I can wear. I’m wearing the same outfits I’ve worn for several years which are starting to fall apart. I have no excuse. I know how to sew. I have the items I need to draft patterns even though Grandma Mama taught me to sew without patterns and how to use the fabric of used clothing for upcycled wearables. Hmm… in my dream world all fabric is free and sewing makes you thin.

I’ve been re-evaluating my life. I’ve been trying to find meaning and purpose in the mist of what are difficult and uncontrollable circumstances of pandemic isolation. On the wall of my studio is a note to myself. Its been there for years and reads “I can’t do everything but I can do something.”

Hugs all around from Kentucky. I’m thankful for my internet friends.

40 comments on “Why bother?

  1. Jasna
    March 25, 2021

    Hi, Anita. Spiders in corners and shoes, you say? Only there? The ones in my house seem to have invited ALL their distant relatives as well as their in-laws. I have to politely ask them to move off my chair if I want to watch the news!

    Thank you for your post and good sense of humour, Anita. It’s great to have you back writing!

    Hugs,

    Jasna

    Like

    • Anita
      March 25, 2021

      Hugs to you too Jasna. Right now I’m glad I don’t live in Australia where spiders by the millions are climbing on everything to avoid the floods. Its so creepy.

      Like

  2. kaythegardener
    March 22, 2021

    I wonder if you had a bit of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? The standard treatment is a special light box, but on the cheap I rested more, watched my diet & added more orange juice drinks every day & realized as I age, I have fewer hours of concentrated work energy in myself…so I must pick my projects carefully!
    I think of it as doing more mental work & less physical work as I get wiser…
    Glad you are back on the blogging trail — your wisdom & humor are needed more than ever, NA-NA!!

    Like

    • Anita
      March 24, 2021

      Yes, you’re probably right. It may have been some SAD from lack of sunshine. That big warehouse shades my house from most of the sunshine and being stuck at home kept me from getting out to parks etc. I have to turn on lights even in the daytime. Like you I’m slowing down and choosing projects carefully.

      Like

    • still cool
      March 24, 2021

      I only found your website today on a Frugal things list while searching recipes. I’m a single retired senior man, have lived alone for 30 years and I love it. I can relate when I think of different periods of living alone, to many of your things. My fervent interest in life long learning is my thing and whatever is going on, good or bad, my love affair with the internet to get knowledge and info for myself (no social media except to look up something like a recipe, something somebody is doing, or occasionally to post something for sale in a FB group) and my curiosity is boundless – keeps me happy.
      I am the world’s worse domestic person I.e. keeping house (I have a lot of tools, electronic stuff, clothes, etc. that my apartment is always full. I have been able to overcome the dishes part , however, and it helps amazingly to keep happy about everyone’s favorite pastime – eating.
      For years I never made time for cleaning dishes and would pile up every last dish. cup, glass, spoon, etc. until I had no choice but to wash them all. First, I was flooded out of my house and got an apartment with a small kitchen. Everything is, like, RIGHT THERE at hand. What I found is that if I put the dirty dishes in/near the sink each night there really aren’t that many utensils from one day. Some need to be soaked.
      Every morning I get up and immediately make coffee. While I wait for the coffeemaker to perk I put away what’s in the dish drainer from yesterday and wash the ones I have ready. By the time the coffee is done I have finished washing the dishes and sometimes all during the day I just grab things from the drainer because they are right there. This has greatly improved the quality of my cooking and made cooking way easier, so I have solved the most major creature comfort aspect of MY life. It makes a huge difference and can lead to other areas of organizing – OR NOT, as long as I’m fine with it. Oh, and I like to see people too, just not in my apartment.

      Like

      • Anita
        March 24, 2021

        Thank you for visiting my blog and thank you for commenting and sharing your story. With all the cooking, foodbank visits, canning, sewing, quilting, bread baking, video making, blog post writing, and breakdown repairs to do, my dishes often get low priority. For a single person I sure do dirty a LOT of dishes in a day. When I visit the foodbank there is often food to be canned (bottled). Normally I home can those foods and/or discounted grocery produce several times a week. One day of canning and I’ve got a sink full of canning tools or pots to wash but then another priority draws me away from the dishes. Even now, as I write this, there is a quilt I need to get boxed and take to the post office. Under normal circumstances I’m super clean and would often be asked how I could do it all but then the pandemic lockdown changed everything. Downsizing to this smaller house with little sunshine has also been hard to adjust.

        Like

        • Lefty
          March 24, 2021

          The point is, if there is something you do first thing in the morning – like making coffee, or maybe you make tea, or there are things you do regularly that you must wait for to boil, perk, or drying, whatever. During that waiting period you do the dishes instead of just hanging out waiting. if you have the dishes sitting there ready, a little Dawn and water and you’re rolling.
          If you do this every day – most people make coffee etc. in the morning first thing everyday, you always have clean dishes even if they are sitting there in the dish rack, and you don’t have to plan anything. Put your canning junk in the sink or on the counter and it’s there waiting – once you get started one day just repeat every morning. It’s the only way I have found to defeat procrastinating. It’s way easier to do a few dishes each time that waiting until they fill half the kitchen,

          Like

          • Anita
            March 24, 2021

            Good suggestion. I do understand. I didn’t explain myself very well. I do multi-task a lot. I always try to do something during any/all wait times. In my post I was explaining how the covid lockdown had taken away my motivation and how I’m slowly getting it back. I added a bit of humor in the post to make it more interesting.

            Like

  3. Patricia Byron
    March 18, 2021

    Oh Anita, I was reading my own life – I am tired all the time, I have given up on chores and cooking – I have the ability to order out for dinner a couple of times a week and my senior center delivers hot and delicious lunch meals M-F. Although my daughter got me to “stock up” starting last March and so I’ve overwhelmed with boxes and bags of foods, and my small apt in the senior complex is now packed and there are pathways. LOL I haven’t had anyone, ANYONE. step a foot inside my front door for over a year. I’ve been out to get my hair cut possibly three times in the past year, and been to my daughter’s farm home a total of three times and she only lives in the next village below mine. On really nice days I go out and sit on my rollator on my yard, I even have a young college boy who comes by and takes care of my little flower garden and picks up my boxes and garbage every two weeks – but he now has COVID so can’t do it until end of March. It is so depressing! I’ve given up dishes and now am using paper plates and plastic silverware – its easier to toss than wash. I keep saying, oh I’ll clear the counter and scrub it down, I’ll do the dishes, I’ll sweep and wash the bathroom floor, I’ll scrub the toilet, I’ll take a hot shower every morning… yet alas, I don’t. You are not alone, we are in it together and I believe the older we are, the harder we are hit by this sluggishness, this “overlooking” of our chores and self caring. Thank God that spring and warmer days and sun are coming – if I had to endure another winter like this one I don’t know what I’d do. I’m so glad to see that you have friends that are helping you through these dark dank days, I was worried. Take care and post – we do miss you.

    Like

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      Big hug from KY Patricia. To be honest if I did have company I don’t have anyplace for them to sit. The living room is my quilting studio. I don’t have a kitchen table or chairs. I had planned to look for a table at the thrift store when the shut down last year put a halt to it. I plan to post more now that spring has sprung. I resorted to using wax paper as paper plates for sandwiches. I’d wash my coffee cup everyday but the dishes would set until there was nothing left to cook with or eat out of. That’s when I’d wash them. In my normal life I’m a perfectionist cleaner when it comes to my house and kitchen. Too many years living in the ghetto taught me to be super clean in order to keep away pests that carry diseases. I’ll try to post more often now that the sun shines more.

      Like

  4. Silver
    March 18, 2021

    I’m sorry it’s so hard Anita. We will get through this, spring is coming. Husband says he feels better and more optimistic now with the increased amounts of sunlight and I hope it will be the same for the rest of us.

    Like

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      I agree with your husband. The sun of the last couple of days is making me feel more optimistic and motivated. I’ve been following your savings at the stores with envy. I haven’t been inside a store for over a year. Did you see that I bought $77 worth of groceries for $28?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Silver
        March 22, 2021

        Yes I saw your post, what a fantastic saving!

        Like

  5. Diane
    March 17, 2021

    I’m sorry you went through such dark days these past few months, but glad you are coming out of them. I hope you are able to get the vaccine soon. I got my first last week, and my husband is getting his today. In a couple weeks my state opens to everyone so my kids will be able to theirs. It’s nice to see light at the end of what’s been a very long tunnel. I think we are all ready for some sunshine in our life-literally and figuratively.

    Like

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      I agree completely. We are all ready for that light at the end.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Diann
    March 17, 2021

    I feel the same way–Why bother. My house looks like yours. I’ve prayed to God to kick my butt to get me going again. I have started taking vitamin D to compensate for the lack of sunshine. All I want to do is lay around. But we will get through this.

    Like

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      The sunshine of the last two days has helped me tremendously. Its been warm enough I could open the inside door and let the sun come through the storm door. I keep telling myself I can’t do everything but I can do “something” and it helps.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jane M Birdsong
    March 17, 2021

    February in my area is always dreary so I can relate! This whole covid year has been a Groundhog’s Day scenario for me and other friends I’ve talked to.
    I always enjoy reading your blog and I hope as Spring continues to unfurl you will feel better. I can relate to the idea of sitting on the couch lost in the rabbit hole of YouTube videos. The desire to read has only recently come back to me. Here’s hoping your energy and drive return!

    Like

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      Yes, I’m feeling better each day. I’ve canned beans and asparagus plus I made a youtube video instead of just watching them. I hope you get some sun too.

      Like

  8. Selena
    March 16, 2021

    Staying safe during the pandemic has been a challenge. And yes the days can run together or seem the same as the day before. I try to go outside at least twice a day in the winter. Doesn’t have to be for very long but a change of scenery is nice. No one near me so I can be “mask free”.
    The selfishness of some people is very disheartening. Complaining that you can’t dine in a restaurant when many struggle to put food on the table makes me mad (actually it really, really ticks me off). I know many have done what they can to help out. I do what I can to help. But there are far too many who have no empathy for others and refuse do anything but complain.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      Selena I had the same thoughts. People complaining and no empathy ticks me off too. I don’t have money to give but I find other ways to donate. Raffle quilts do very well when I donate one or two. I used to volunteer at soup kitchens once or twice a month but covid put an end to that. Hugs from KY

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Jean Bontrager
    March 16, 2021

    HI Anita,!
    I miss your words so much and am so sorry that you are so isolated! I am thinking of you and trying to navigate our finances to send a gift to you! Lots of love, Jean
    We have been through a rough winter of illness and hospitalizations but even in Vermont spring is coming!

    Like

    • Anita
      March 19, 2021

      Jean! Hi there Ms Jean. I’m so glad to see you comment. I’ve wondered about you but I couldn’t get motivated to email and ask. Sorry things have been so rough for you. Hugs to you. Ooo, isn’t this maple syrup season and due for a festival in Vermont? I can almost smell the sap boiling all the way here to KY. Normally about this time of year I’d be entering quilts into the New England Machine Quilter Expo. It’s not going to happen this year again.

      Like

  10. Pam Wager McCormick
    March 16, 2021

    I was waiting anxiously for a post on how yuh ou were fairing, so thank you
    I am a 30 plus years nurse- not currently on the front lines instead working from home- need the pay check
    Totally understand, we miss our family, granddaughter is doing school at home, son in law work full time plus, daughter working sporadically
    Husband has both shots I will get mine when available
    I wish you all the best, wish you were able to be with your family and have all of us as your neighbors
    XO

    Like

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Thanks Pam I have grands older than you and great grands in their teens. 😉 If my oldest son was still living he would be celebrating his 63th birthday this year. I qualified for the shots at the beginning but couldn’t get an appointment. I’ve been waiting for the shots to be given nearer my home with a better chance of an appointment. I wanna be like one of those grandma’s in the viral videos of grands running for their first hugs in a year.

      Like

  11. craftytadpole
    March 16, 2021

    Nice to see a post from you Anita! I have missed you and your sense of humour. The mention of your “pet” spider with the nice hair made me giggle.

    I think dealing with boredom and loneliness is the hardest challenge for most of us during this pandemic. Sending you happy cyber hugs till you can get yourself some real ones.

    Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Snoopy happy dance here in KY! Thank you Laurie for finding the humor in my post. I’m slowly coming out of my fog and seeing a ray of sunshine for writing again. Hugs to you from KY.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Shannon
    March 16, 2021

    This SPOKE to me. I read all your blog posts but this one hit me hard. I’m not as isolated, but I am feeling the same way. When everyday is the same, it’s hard for any given day to mean anything. It sounds like you are pulling yourself out of it though. I hope you know that we are all still out here reading what you have to say. We’re real people who care about you even though we don’t know you personally. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Thank you Shannon for understanding. Yes, the post is me beginning to come out of pandemic hibernation. I miss my grands. I was writing to hopefully show there can be humor as a ray of sunshine within a sadness. Unfortunately, I also get internet trolls who tell me – “oh just stop complaining and get over it, there are people worse off than you” – and expect me to just shut my feelings off like a light switch. Oh how I wish that were true. hugs to you from KY Shannon

      Like

      • Shannon
        March 17, 2021

        And trolls is exactly what they are! Kicking a person who is feeling down–that’s just bully behavior. I appreciate you and your realness. Hugs back!

        Like

    • Erma Dunk
      March 16, 2021

      Anita when i read your post this week i thought that is the way i fell.I am trying pull my self out of felling that way especility since i got first covic shot suppose get secound one next week.Stay safe keep writing.Erma Dunk

      Like

      • Anita
        March 17, 2021

        Thanks Erma. I see now that I’m not alone in the way I’ve been feeling. I’ll be getting the shots as soon as soon as they are available closer to my house and I can get an appointment. Hugs

        Like

  13. Linda in NE
    March 15, 2021

    Yep, the days just slide into each other and before you know it a new month starts. I kind of went through the same Why bother? period that you have. I spent way too much time with my butt in a chair reading & watching videos on the computer. Gray, dreary days don’t agree with me. Pandemic shutdowns haven’t really been a problem here. We didn’t have any cases to speak of until about early Sept. after the bar opened up and school started. All the schools around here have been open all year. Complete with sports and other extra-curricular activities. After that our county had a spike, but now we’re back down to almost nothing. The same for all the counties in our health Dept. area. I came down with the virus at the beginning of the week before Christmas. It wasn’t bad. Just lingering. I’ve been more miserable with a bad cold. So now I figure I have antibodies along with a strong immune system and know what to take to stay healthy. So I’ve gone back to “normal” living. Have decided the shots are not for me, at least not at this time. I’ve read some terrible possibilities associated with them. One researcher even mentioned genocide. I’ll at least wait and see what happens to people who were so eager to get them. My daughter got hers and I worry about her. We lost our son in Jan. 2020 (not Covid) and we don’t need to lose our daughter too. Hope you will be perking up as the weather gets nicer and start feeling like doing things again.

    Like

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Thank you Linda. We’ve had thousands of deaths here in KY. I have a very bad immune system. I was born sickly and have caught just about every communicable disease over the years. When I was a child I was terrified of anyone wearing white because nurses and doctors wore white and stuck people with needles. I do plan to get the shot because vaccines have helped me stay away from hospitals the last five years. Just about everyone I know is going to wait to see what happens with the vaccine but I want to see and hug my grands. Especially the grandson who inherited my weak immune system. I want to do what I can to keep him safe. I know the pain of loosing a child. I’ve lost three. More sunshine would elevate my mood a LOT. Hugs to you Linda

      Like

  14. Linda
    March 15, 2021

    I’ve been in the exact same “spot” as you have been. Please hang in there. You’ve taught me so much and I’ve missed your posts.

    Like

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Thank you Linda, hugs to you. The post was me finding humor among my sadness in order to start being myself again. I’ve missed you too.

      Like

  15. Melissa
    March 15, 2021

    Do all of this for you because you matter! And life is going to get back to normal eventually…

    Like

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Thank you Melissa. The post is a new beginning for me. I needed to find the humor in my sadness to start being myself again.

      Like

  16. Sandy ONeill
    March 15, 2021

    Why bother? Because we care a lot!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anita
      March 16, 2021

      Thank you so much Sandy. I care too.

      Like

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This entry was posted on March 15, 2021 by in 2020 PANDEMIC, DOWNSIZING MY LIFE, HUMOR.

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